I am not sure that absolute balance is ever achievable without tools, just as a tightrope walker uses a balance bar we need these tools to help balance our lives. I feel blessed to have such an understanding partner who allows me to learn through trial and error and without this I don't think I would learn. He offers advice as needed and reals me back to reality when I am floating away. I also consider the blogs I read as tools, it is comforting to connect with other women who often experience similar circumstances in their lives.. I also enjoy writing out my own emotions..they sometimes feel and look different in print.
Speaking of blogs...I was reading a blog yesterday and was upset about a comment she made. She was certain of only one right way to raise children. I pondered this comment all day and evening and wondered why it affected me so. I concluded that it bothered me because I wasn't raising my children as she saw fit nor do I believe that there is only one way to raise children. Every families situation is unique and requires unique solutions to establish balance.
I love being a mother and I love being involved with Eli's school and having "mia time" but I also feel I need something for me. Be that selfish or not it's what I need. I attempted working nights so I can be home with the kids but use my nursing degree....but that didn't work for, me, my kids, my husband, or our life...every situation is unique and I admire the women who do this full time...
If I do not have balance with my soul I am not the best mother I can be..and that is not fair to my children..
I worked hard to earn my degrees and while I don't regret any decision I have made to sacrifice career for children..I am ready to do something for me....to a point! And this is the part that I am having a hard time finding balance with!! For one working part time still requires child care and most don't offer part time care until 3...still 10 months away....
I am going to do it! I have found....what we think....is a wonderful solution to our tightrope..
I am going to work 3 days with a wonderful pediatrician as a PNP. I will take Eli to school, drop Mia off at daycare...yup I said the dreaded D word..and head off to work! It will just be her and I in a large established office! I am very excited! I will still have 2 days home during the week! Every situation is unique! I have found it is important to me that I have time for craft time, I need that creative outlet!
I would love to move into a bigger house with a bigger yard...BUT I love Eli's school, Chris has a commute of 1.6miles...so this is our compromise for right now! Maybe something will come where we can still walk Eli to school move a little bit farther into Olde towne but for right now we are happy with our current situation! One tightrope at a time!
I am thankful for the tools I have in my life to help me achieve balance!