I am not sure if it was the fact that I turned 34, or my children decided to both change into mutant non-listeners, or maybe a desire for a new (totally extravagant) bottega veneta bag.... probably a combination, that has cause such indecsion in my life. I felt like I was walking through the motions and somehow became bitter and unhappy with my life. It is amazing how once the seed of discontent plants itself...the roots WILL spread..so then EVERY aspect of my life was horrible and miserable and MUST be changed. Actually I am pretty happy and love my life. I needed a wake up call, I needed to SEE what life could be like if I changed it. I went to California, stopped blogging, stopped crafting and considered uprooting my family and moving to follow "my dream"! First I am just going to say THANK GOD I have such a supportive husband who just wants me to be happy!! Second I got the job, the SAME day Chris got a call about a great opportunity for his career here on the east coast! hmmm so we sat down and talked and talked and I vented...even ( accidently) threw a cup of milk...yea I went through a crazy moment! And who ever said not to cry over spilled milk didn't have to clean it off kitchen cabinets! I do have so say becoming a little irrational was very theraputic for me! I tend to hold everything in until a breaking point...and I needed to get some things out. So we both agreed we wanted me to stay home a little longer, a little more time to cherish these babies. I love being home and am going to keep at it a little bit longer! E will be in school full time in August and we are probably going to put miss crazy pants in a preschool program. I am going to continue doing crafts and furniture on a "as I want to" not a "I HAVE TO" basis. I am going to open an Etsy shop but not kill myself to do it. As I find cool pieces of furniture I will continue to paint...but not so do or die. I tend to jump in head first and go ALL out at ALL costs....I am working on that! For now my focus in my two crazy-wonderful little people I am always looking for that perfect project or part time job but as of right now I am NOT looking I am JUST being....
2 comments:
Life is like that. Continually trying to find a balance. Your husband sounds wonderful. Your kids sound normal, and so do you! You're not crazy. Being at home is wonderful and crazy all at once. Do the necessary and then definitely have fun. Sounds like you have lots of fun! Pray. Heavenly Father loves you and knows the best path for your life and wants you to be happy!! Love you!!
Chris just texted Matt...would LOVE to have you all in Georgia! We miss u so much! I am so sorry to hear that you are in the 30 year old female midlife crisis! I think we all go through it but not like men! Fall back on faith and knowing that with all the technology of the present day we are all OVERWHELMED! Sometimes it is cleansing to just be! We will be praying for a move to GA if it's what you all are hoping for because we sure are!
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